MERAYJAN

Hold your tongue

It has been a while since I have frequented my blog, or written of any sort. My brain has been recovering from the information-overload that it has endured over the past 9 months.  I can finally say (with great gladness), that I think I am recovered, and am ready for work, and lots of it.   

In the past 10 days of doing nothing, I have been living in pure bliss.  Sleeping more than 6 hours, taking my time at the gym, coffee dates with friends, and making dinner for some of my favourite people has given me nothing less than many smiles.  I have have spent countless hours reflecting on the past few months, and have concluded that in the past four months I have learned a skill (which I am still sharpening) that will save me from a lot of conflict, and trouble in my life.  

I have had the pleasure of dating someone who I really admire.  His actions have taught me a lot, but one of his most admirable qualities is his ability to hold his tongue, and think before he speaks.  I will be honest, thinking before I speak has not always been my greatest strength.  My family and I have always taken pride in our ability to be honest with one another, and speak exactly what is on our mind.  This has worked both for and against me.  People know when they speak to me they will always receive honesty, which sometimes isn’t exactly what they want to hear.   Through being in relationship with my special friend, I have noticed that the amount of relational conflict that he experiences is close to non-existant, and he is loved by so many.  And guess what?! I know why!  Other than his good-looks, charm, kind heart and…. ok I’ll stop there, he is so careful with what comes out of his mouth.  He chooses his words wisely, he is intentional about speaking life rather than death, and does a beautiful job of encouraging those around him.  When he sees a problem, or disagrees with someone, he doesn’t loosely release his tongue to jab, harm, or humiliate someone, but he carefully selects his words so they continue to uplift the other person. 

In the book of James, James writes: “everyone should be quick to listen, slow to speak and slow to become angry” (NIV 1.19).   This verse, and Dallas (woops I just said his name),  have inspired me to give my tongue a rest, and be more intentional with my words.  It has not come easy, but every time I refrain from emotionally letting my tongue run wild, I feel stronger, and the next refrain comes easier.  

I encourage you to do the same.  I am sure your opinion is valuable, and you have a lot of good things to say, but remember, timing is everything.  Sometimes it is not necessary for you to speak, and sometimes, your words will be more damaging than beneficial.  I challenge you (as I have been challenging myself), to try and make your words be few.   Be intentional with what comes out of your mouth, and I can assure you that those around you will take what you say more seriously.  Remember, our words carry weight, and can speak life or death.  There is so much power in what we say.  

Ok, that’s all for now.  Thanks for reading, and I hope that scripture encourages you as much as it has encouraged me. 

xoxo Meray

Some of my thoughts on tolerance

As my degree quickly approaches the end, I find myself soaking up the words from the wise and actively participating in all the classroom discussions I can.  Today, my class had a fascinating discussion on the concept of tolerance.  On an average day, I contribute plenty to these types of conversation, but, for some reason, today I could not.  We were asked questions like: what does it mean to be intolerant? Is tolerance a good thing? Does God acquire tolerance? I didn’t know how to adequately answer any of these questions, so I just kept quiet. As the discussion progressed, I began to grasp the varying degrees of tolerance.  According to Daniel Taylor, one cannot be tolerant of something unless she objects to it. There must be a clear distinction of a society that can distinguish healthy tolerance from, as Taylor calls it, a “diseased moral passivity or indifference”.  

For some uncanny reason, our society has encouraged pluralism to an extent that having one’s own idea, and rejecting another view, is seen as narrow-minded.  Of course, as a Christian, I strive to stay away from that stereotype, and sometimes abandon my Biblical truths in order to avoid this label.

Scott Peck writes that one’s worldview is their religion.  Our ability to distinguish and differentiate between right and wrong, justice and immorality, good and evil should be considered as an admirable trait.  Everyone has their beliefs, whether that is the belief that Jesus Christ is the Son of God, or that one’s life ends in their grave. Our difference in opinion, thought, and worldview is what makes us individuals.  It is what separates the secular, from the non-secular.  It is what allows me to be a daughter of Christ.   

The moral of the above is not to simply educate you on what it means to be a tolerant person, but to drive you to have a sense of respect for your worldview, and what you deem to be right and wrong.  As you navigate through life—maybe join new communities and workplaces—love, accept, be kind, and be tolerant. Not in a passive, surrendering-all-your-morals kind of way, but rather, with a loving humble attitude that remains true to what you believe, and respecting the thoughts and opinions of others.  Use wisdom and be intolerant when necessary.  In the book of Matthew, Christ demands us not to judge, for God reserved judging for Himself.  In your intolerance, do not judge, and in your tolerance, do not conform.